Rants Against Bad Television Adverts
You’ve used Windows 7, right? It’s Microsoft’s new operating system that is going to replace Windows XP. The previous operating system, Windows Vista was so terrible that users were willing to pay extra to have Windows XP installed on their computer rather than have the bloated, nanny operating system.
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The story behind this advert is a typical scene of advertising stereotypes. A mother and her teenage son are out on a shopping trip to buy the weekly groceries. The son is an advert-safe teenager, who thinks that he is really cool, a bit of a rebel. But let’s face it, comes across as a bit of a curly haired, annoying twat.
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There is a thought in advertising that the more annoying the advert, the more it will stick in the mind and therefore the more it will influence people into buying your product. This is complete tosh as exemplified by the We Buy Any Car Advert.
They must have spent all their money buying cars because there was only about 5p left to make this crappy advert.
It looks like it was made by a six year old child with a donated PC from the late 90s and the earliest edition of Adobe Flash. Cut out car shapes like you used to find in Fuzzy Felt move along a motorway not making it to the other end of the screen before being transformed into a sold sign. (If you watch the advert closely, they don’t buy every car. There are several cars that get away without being bought.)
The sound track is equally naff. It sound like a variation of the Mc Mental Chav dance and also doubles as sensory torture for use by the American government at Guantanamo Bay, as it is the just the continual repetition of the phrase “We buy any car” with a vocoded “.com” tacked onto the end of the sentence.
What is Jenny Eclair, respected rude comedienne doing this government agency advert for salt in food? In this ad, she looks like a strict headmistress as she nags us about salt in food. Too much salt is bad and this advert is supposed to highlight this fact. It reveals the startling fact that there is a lot of salt in processed food. In fact it is ‘full of it’ as the annoying jingle hammers home. How you can find out if there is too much salt in your food? Look at the label. Thank goodness for the Food Standards Agency. I would never have figured that out.
By the same token, too much salt is also pretty bad for supermarket trolleys apparently, especially when they are falling from a great height in slow motion. This advert is ‘full of it’ and it isn’t salt.
This is a particularly annoying advert. Everyone is watching their cash as the economic crisis bites. Inevitably this hits the poorest the hardest. With more people looking for work, even poorly paid jobs are sought after.
Brighthouse are tempting people with the possibility of owning new household items like flat screen television, sofas, washing machines. No credit check, nothing. But all this comes at a cost namely 29.9% APR just 0.1% short of 30%. Ask who are the people that are most likely to take up an offer like this? Thrifty people, those with money to spend or people that are depressed, on a low income but don’t have the willpower to save up money.
This is just making excessive profit from people who are the least able to afford it. It is all rather unsavoury.
We are starting to see the re-emergence of magazines that are not so much about the published content but are all about building something by collecting parts each week. Usually they involve building an impressive looking model. This time we have a model of a Lancaster bomber. It does look quite impressive. If I were ruled by my heart I might decide to build this, but fortunately, I am rational man and inveterate reader of the small print. They might lure you by having the first edition at £1.99 but 125 editions at £4.99 makes this a very expensive model at £620,75. And this assumes the ability to build it correctly but does not include the tools or additional materials required such as paints. A lot of the work must be in the finishing. I wonder how many will be built? Better off buying a plastic Airfix model.
It should be a cardinal rule that children never appear in advertisements. I believe that children should not be seen and not be heard. The Glade Touch n Fresh ad just makes me cringe every time I see it. If you haven’t seen the advert, an all too understanding parent is talking to their child that is about to shit their pants but won’t go to the toilet in their own home.
Stupid enough but the whining little brat when questioned why not states, in the most annoying voice. “I want to do a poo, at Paul’s” (the implied reasoning is that because they have a better class of air freshener.) If had said such a thing when I was a child, my mother would have clouted me around the head and justly so.
But the extensive use of scatological references makes this ad sickening and annoying at the same time. Even, the concept is flawed. When you have a poo (at Paul’s or otherwise) you don’t smell it. Somehow over the years your nose has adapted to the smell. If you go back in after the event you can. Therefore, the only reason you would use an air freshener is as courtesy to others.
So this advert is saying that the child is going out of his way to be altruistic so that no one else need smell his disgusting poo. I am baffeled how anyone could come up with this concept for an advert. It is just terrible and that is why it disearves a place in this blog.
This is such as stupid advert it makes me wince every time I see it. It is a succession of idiots trying to persuade you consume more in the guise of saving the planet.
A succession of media created characterless morons, including an annoying Essexified woman out of Eastenders, explain how sending your perfectly good phone is a good idea for the environment and will help you make some extra money. Worst of all is a stupid spiky-haired effeminate punk with red hair, a goatee beard and a gapped tooth like Terry-Thomas, who says, ‘Soooo last year’. It makes my blood boil.
The worst thing about the advert is that it is completely at odds with the concept of being good for the environment. The first principle of environmental thinking before reuse and recycling is to cut back on the consumption of resources. Surely this would mean don’t buy a new phone because it is, heavens, a year old. Carry on using your phone until it is so outdated that it no longer works. The idea of sending an almost new, perfectly usable phone to be resold is morally wrong.
If you do have a phone that is more than a year-old, then the chances are you won’t be grinning inanely with a cheque because it is worth almost nothing.
What have salads leaves and communism got in common? Ask the people at Florette where apparently they use a collective of Kulaks to grow their veg. In this advert, there is a sinister air of Stalinism where on a field the grey workers labour intensively to pick the salad leaves as they chant ‘crispy salad’. Only the best leaves are suitable with failure to meet the grade being punished by death or extradition to Siberia. Privileged customers are not allowed to see the process and order their salad from their Trabant by a phone in the hedge; the salad bag being passed through the hedge by a trapped worker, presumably so they cannot see the free world and wish to escape.