August, 2009 | Bad TV Adverts, Bad Ads

Glade Touch and Fresh

Filed under: Advertising Idiots,Most Annoying Ever — Tags: , , — Carl Hepburn @ 9:12 pm August 22, 2009

It should be a cardinal rule that children never appear in advertisements. I believe that children should not be seen and not be heard. The Glade Touch n Fresh ad just makes me cringe every time I see it. If you haven’t seen the advert, an all too understanding parent is talking to their child that is about to shit their pants but won’t go to the toilet in their own home.

Stupid enough but the whining little brat when questioned why not states, in the most annoying voice. “I want to do a poo, at Paul’s” (the implied reasoning is that because they have a better class of air freshener.) If had said such a thing when I was a child, my mother would have clouted me around the head and justly so.

But the extensive use of scatological references makes this ad sickening and annoying at the same time. Even, the concept is flawed. When you have a poo (at Paul’s or otherwise) you don’t smell it. Somehow over the years your nose has adapted to the smell. If you go back in after the event you can. Therefore, the only reason you would use an air freshener is as courtesy to others.

So this advert is saying that the child is going out of his way to be altruistic so that no one else need smell his disgusting poo. I am baffeled how anyone could come up with this concept for an advert. It is just terrible and that is why it disearves a place in this blog.

Envirofone

Filed under: Advertising Idiots,Economical with the Truth — Tags: , , , , — Carl Hepburn @ 6:44 pm August 21, 2009

This is such as stupid advert it makes me wince every time I see it. It is a succession of idiots trying to persuade you consume more in the guise of saving the planet.
A succession of media created characterless morons, including an annoying Essexified woman out of Eastenders, explain how sending your perfectly good phone is a good idea for the environment and will help you make some extra money. Worst of all is a stupid spiky-haired effeminate punk with red hair, a goatee beard and a gapped tooth like Terry-Thomas, who says, ‘Soooo last year’. It makes my blood boil.

The worst thing about the advert is that it is completely at odds with the concept of being good for the environment. The first principle of environmental thinking before reuse and recycling is to cut back on the consumption of resources. Surely this would mean don’t buy a new phone because it is, heavens, a year old. Carry on using your phone until it is so outdated that it no longer works. The idea of sending an almost new, perfectly usable phone to be resold is morally wrong.
If you do have a phone that is more than a year-old, then the chances are you won’t be grinning inanely with a cheque because it is worth almost nothing.

Money-4-Gold

Filed under: Hidden meanings — Carl Hepburn @ 9:17 pm August 9, 2009

Do you have so much gold jewellery that you have unwanted gold jewellery? Unless you are a chav the answer is probably not. The spectacularly amateurish advertisement for Money4Gold explains the process to selling all your unwanted jewellery items. There is something very unpleasant about this advert. They will buy items of jewellery at a presumably very low price since they will go for scrap and people will sell them because in these cash-strapped times money can be hard to come by.
Pawnbrokers have been around for ages but the prospect of sending items of jewellery to be melted down as scrap is rather sad and depressing prospect.
If you need the help of a company like Money4Gold, then the chances are that you will not have an overflowing jewellery box full of gold. A much more likely scenario is their customers cannot afford to pay bills and as a last resort is selling a wedding ring. Another scenario that I can think of for having unwanted gold items for scrap would be if they were stolen.
Trying to market the process in as a way to getting rid of unwanted jeweller makes this a terrible advert. There are other companies advertising the same sort of service on television and they all have the same faults.

Florette Crispy Salad

Filed under: Advertising Idiots — Tags: , , , — Carl Hepburn @ 8:34 pm August 8, 2009

What have salads leaves and communism got in common? Ask the people at Florette where apparently they use a collective of Kulaks to grow their veg. In this advert, there is a sinister air of Stalinism where on a field the grey workers labour intensively to pick the salad leaves as they chant ‘crispy salad’. Only the best leaves are suitable with failure to meet the grade being punished by death or extradition to Siberia. Privileged customers are not allowed to see the process and order their salad from their Trabant by a phone in the hedge; the salad bag being passed through the hedge by a trapped worker, presumably so they cannot see the free world and wish to escape.