One series of adverts that is rapidly starting to get on my nerves are the Halifax adverts. It seems I am not alone. Congratulations on pushing back the boundaries of advertising tyranny. First we had Howard, bottle lensed bespecticled bank manager, singing about their latest banking products to popular show tunes or something like that. I cannot remember exactly as my mind has repressed those memories.
Now we have a load of retarded, obese bankers packed into radio studio presenting a show with the inane stupidity that only Radio One can muster. You will get £5 a month if you pay in a thousand pounds every month. Sound like a good deal? Not so fast. I don’t think this is anything for customers to be raving about as this is an interest rate of 0.5% only on the first £1000.
Anyway I digress. We instinctively know the product is crap. This blog is about venting my spline against the advert. In fact there are a number of adverts now. One has them high-fiving each other. Like Jerry Seinfeld, I believe high-fiving is such a low form of primate communication. As he says, even some apes can do sign language now but it seems like a suitable method of communication for the unctuous, knuckle-dragging Halifax staff.
Another advert has them hosting a phone-in show for some inexplicable reason, as a reward, we can choose a bang of a large gong or the ‘reward horn.’ The hapless Halifax customer chooses the reward horn and there is a large Parp from the horn. I think this is a strange sound and that subliminally, it represents the booby prize as in ‘wah wah-wah, wahhhh.’
All the adverts are odious and hide the fact that while they are very vocal about the money that we get by putting money in I don’t hear so many tubas and gongs about their share of the £37 billion pounds of government money used to bail them out.
- Pretentious Advert King
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