Uncle Ben’s Rice Advert
I have to say this one went under my radar for some time. However, it is a particularly annoying advert because it is so stupid and pointless. Whoever came up with the concept failed on every single level. Picture a domestic scene where an urban woman, geeky husband and some other random fellow that has just popped in for a cup of coffee, are preparing a meal.
They have a large, modern designer kitchen so it stands to reason they choose to make packet rice in the microwave. The geeky husband goes to take the rice out of the microwave (even though it hasn’t pinged). The microwave door is stuck. The women says in a matter-of-fact voice, “Oh, It won’t come out unless you tell it it has no artificial colours or preservatives.”
There are so many things wrong about the reasoning behind this statement, both philosophical and causal that make it clear that her grasp of reality is very tenuous. Are you fucking crazy? It is rice. It is inanimate. Leaving aside the point that it is the microwave door that is stuck and how rice can summon the power to keep it shut. What the fuck has this got to do with rice anyway? If it has no artificial colours or preservatives, then just fucking say so. What sort of a moron would you have to be not to be able to cook ordinary rice anyway?